undertow

everything's going slow and harsh.... what's that suppose to mean, i dunno either maybe that just the way it is under my conciousness huhuhu. it's just i feel like i've been struggling against an undertow, before i know i feel so exhausted and drench over something i dunno. weirded me out but c'est la vie, i mean i am weird

these couple weeks has been a hard ones, with all the conflicts - all the things that left me alone to think. the truth that has been there and recently popped out in front of me, hurted me so bad that i had a crazy idea when i was alone [really couldnt let myself being alone in my room and thank god i got my cousins]. then my fave singer [chrisye] died at my very bad day made me wanted so much to cry or maybe it was just my way to grief over me, but camoflaged to be over him. but i liked him so much, every song of him touched me esp "Untukku", i'll have that for my wedding.

it's pouring rain out there after a blasting hot day, and in every rainy day i suppose maya and i send little message of missing each other, just like today i feel like i miss her so much i start to have little kick on my throat like the day we seperated more than a year ago. alright then i'll have a raindance for ya crazy lady, hopefully it's fun........