Just Leave!

Something to be considered, ladies and gentlemen... (although greed is such a big part of human kind, shame on you!) 

At The End of 2012

Writing becomes a reminder for me, since I tend to forget details or things I intend to forget but somehow far in the future it would be okay to be reminded...

This year has been interesting and yet hurtful, I have met wonderful people and I-thought-was-wonderful people. Although I don't want to address it this way, this year has been a time wasting on men :P 

Nevertheless, many lessons learnt. One thing to be grateful about! 

Looking at the trips I had this year and my post about my vision of 2012, I have to mfffftttt at both. Gone to Bali twice, with one GREAT disappointment (note to self: go travel with your friends or solo, only), had to go home early with a broken heart wasn't in my plan, but c'est la vie. It introduced me to human characters, someone else's and also mine. I like mine more now, in non narcissistic way. I umm just umm gained patience. 

During the healing time, I bumped into a book The Fault in Our Stars by John Green which helped and excited me a lot (regardless the cancer struggler topic, I wasn't wishing to die) since it got me thinking. One of my favorite quotes by John Green: 

"This world is not a wish-granting factory"

So I keep my wishes to myself, to be shred at the office shredder (oh I hate the noise), if only I could shred memories like papers. Conclusion is 2012 would be a year I'd skip from reminiscence.

Come faster 2013, I have many plans and hopes for you! 

Sketches

I guess I forget how to write ha ha... could I just post some of the sketches I made? Sure! (said myself)

I just added some ^-^ 

The Man (English version of Lelaki)

I try my best to give translation of my writing, with my limited English....

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I wonder what brought me to stand in front of the window, inkling? I do not know. But there stood a man framed complete with the perfect symbol of virility [at least it gives that effect to some people, not including me, about ...] cigarette between the fingers of his left hand while his right hand resting on the concrete fence where he sat. After a long inhale, he let his left hand resting along with his cigarette on the concrete fence, where the right hand rested.

Although he sat with his back facing me,  I could see the dreamy expression of his face on his back, as well as I know my own hand. When once again he smoked the cigarette I saw his head looked up following the smoke, from where I stood the smoke seemed like coming out of his looking up head, slowly the smoke flew up and disappeared. That very moment he looked like a kid in awe of how wonderful the smoke was. Reminded me of my childhood when I've eagerly watched my father smoked, saying "Do it again Dad, get the smoke out through your nose" was amazed to see that is inhaled through the mouth coming out from the nose and then disappear without a trace. If only the kid me did not see nearly all adult males smoked I would definitely proudly considered my father a magician.

He was now flicking his cigarette and the ash was falling on my green grass that by the man regarded as the cigarette ashtray of the universe. Oh God ... he was one of the human, those who think the earth is trash bin of the universe. Those who think the river has a magic that can eliminate the waste they throw into it. Tragically sad!

Then my positive thoughts said, "That's OK, it's just ASH, he didn't throw plastic that makes the earth short of breath, Las!" Maybe he's not one of them and I went back staring at his back although it does not give me any answer, up until the man suddenly shot me to the air feeling proud like crazy. 


Patiently he waited the small embers at the end of the rest of his cigarette extinguished by itself, out of the medium to shrink and die, then the man put the butt into the front pocket of his black trousers without getting up. He sat on the concrete fence until the sun began to dim its power, the nature offered a reassuring violet ray soothed all weary souls after this long day.

I was ready to see him standing, like the director who knew exactly what he wanted the characters to do. Then there it was, he quickly stood up and turned around, which meant he was then facing me with  fifty yards that separated us and I could see clearly then the expression I have seen through his back ...... eyes that smiled at me at that second.

I see it again the kid, now in his eyes, as if he chuckled as he told funny stories. The man with boyish eyes stood in front of  of my door, I couldn't help to notice the rhythm of his heavy breath behind the unopened door. I waited for awhile before opening it slowly and then, jumped on me at once the wind that blew blend of perfume that I bought him as a birthday gift and the smell of cigarette that always makes me nag cos it sticks on his shirt. But today I just want to love that boyish-eyed man especially when he said, "Honey, I'm home".

What Are The Chances?

What are the chances that you meet someone? Someone who appreciates some hours of talk and catching up with you? Sitting down somewhere or just a chat through internet, when the other person is just so eager to be part of your day as if he/she was there with you, laughing at the world or even crying with you.


What are the chances bumping into a stranger who totally understands you? Someone you blubber away to, and in the end of the day you can just simply walk away impressed and yet knowing you will never see them again, having the same sense. 


What are the chances you fall in love with the picture of being a parent, feeling the passion flowing in your vein, makes you happy down to your toes? 


What are the chances you're engaged to skygazing for so long you feel inhuman-like?


What are the chances?