lil thought

I heard from my sister about a car which fell from the 6th floor of a mall in Jakarta and I thought Gosh, God kept on increasing the reasons of death while human kept on decreasing it. Kindda freaked the shit out of you eh? At least now we have something to grateful for, here we are, like John Mayer said “before the accident” being healthy and conscious about it. For me it’s always good to know the existence of the higher power.

Been wondering lately what the future holds…. My step mom talked about me getting married the other day and I said don’t worry it’d take time till then. But what was on my mind “will I ever?” I suppose Maya has put a little contribution on this thought. It’s not a blaming statement any at all, I mean before I always had a perfect picture of a family of my own, spend the rest of my life living in a quite place with my perfect picture of a man [just like one I met on the bus] but then maybe life is more than that. I wanna see the world, meet people, gain wisdom and knowledge. I want to have a little world in my heart before I die but also not regretting that I miss a thing.

I remember when we talked about life, Kaspar said life’s a canvas go ahead and choose my own color, at this very moment it’s still confusing. I don’t even know what I want, I never knew what I wanted until it’s in front of me and I like it that way I was born as spontaneous person than a planner. The same person said [although I don’t know whether he meant it] that I would go far in life, amin. Talking about what people said about me, Sarah said I had mischievous smile, I didn’t even know the meaning and still don’t know how to spell it and did I? My oh my.


Life’s a roller coaster, sometimes it moves so fast
We loose control of our self
Sometimes it’s quite slow
We can enjoy the ride and laugh
Let me see your mischievous smile
After your breathtaking sob
Coz after awhile you’d understand
How life is ever gonna be