HAIL WOMEN!

I don’t know what to argue about on topic about men vs women but this one male friend said to me TWICE that women are stupid. It seems to me that he needs to open his horizon much more. Maybe he watches Beauty Pageants too often, well like my girl friend says its Beauty Pageant after all not Brain Pageant so what do you expect? It doesn’t take so much brain work to smile at the crowd and answer the questions you have practiced zillions of time… and if you’re lucky you get the chance to wave to people.

Anyhow back to the stupid statement. I think many men don’t realize how many women lose their chance to be even smarter than they already are coz they choose to raise their kids or to take care of their husbands. It’s beyond imagination how tortured they are to think about the “what if”, but heck men don’t care. They always think *I* am the money maker here, *I* am the smart one. And when a woman is smart, her man possibly calls her naggy * just another N word lol*. I gotta say not many men can handle smart opinionated women, they would end up giving up and turn to obedient Asian women lol [who I wish wouldn’t accept losers]. A bit sad to say as I am myself an Asian woman, but the thing is I’m men’s ego crusher kind of Asian woman :P feed the ego first then crush them to pieces [only if they don’t worth the love :P]

Speaking of certain race and men hehe… my friend was with this man from different race, he can’t take NO from women. They [men of his kind] expect us [women] to always do what they say, agree with what they do. Duh guys you’re so medieval, go back to the time era where you belong or go extinct!! With these kind of guys, I say NO just for fun and they will sulk for sure. *yo peace dude*

Why I write this? Well I just want to remind people that women are something, regardless of their IQ level or achievements. We are strong, mentally we are [guess why jails are so full of men? Coz we women are too afraid to commit crimes?! Well good for us, coz we look for better ways to solve probs :D], not necessarily physically strong. Women have to go thru excruciating pain of labor, you don’t come from a rock, and they also taught you your first words coz your dad was too busy at work. [I start to ramble again lol].

I won’t be fully unfair to men hehe, I’ve met with ones with intelligence and good respect to women. I bow with my deepest respect to them, as they are rare. But I also know some manwhores *gosh I wish I could tag them hahaha too bad they’re gone from my list :P* HAIL MEN

*giggle out - peace out*

If my heart convinced me to fall for strangers

If my heart convinced me to fall for strangers
I’d fall for….

The hearts of old couple who I always see at the park every afternoon
Sitting on a bench talking to each other or just watching younger lives pass the park. I want to fall for two hearts that grow old together.

The smile and kindness of a man who opened the door for me at coffee shop around the corner. He shared me a thought of a good day just by knowing nice strangers do exist.

The joy in a girl’s face, as she rode her bike under the sun and the wind played with her dress. I could hear groovy music followed her as she paddled the bike away from me.

The ….. of this group of homeless people who sat and talked to me when I was waiting for a friend at a bus station. After some time they changed my worries and uneasiness to laughter and amazement of how nice they were to a stranger like me. I fell for this cute experience.

Not really a stranger, but I’d fall for the way my friend described how he felt when his son was born. “It blew me away” he said, he fell in love with his son like crazy in an instant. I hope one day I will be in his shoes, filled with unconditional love my mom was full of because of my existence.

The puzzlement on a child’s innocent face, I don’t have to describe how cute it is. I just want to give the child a smooch on the nose.

The bizarre-complicated-poetic-beautifulminded poets, I already fell and will always fall for you. Nothing really is indescribable. Words exist to put everything into its place.

We Are The Summer

Don’t ask me a thing now, just for now don’t try to understand me
I just want to be distant, bizarre, un-understandable and weird as that
Refuse to talk but to the sun, the clouds, and the wind
You wouldn’t understand this feeling, so just don’t say a thing
Stand there, wait till I calm down and come to my senses.
I need you to be there in your silence with your eyes open wide
Watching me letting the universe absorbs my tantrum away
Once I’m done, you will be my sun – together we’ll be summer
I will do the funny dance you will play your orange guitar
On a lucky day I will convince you to walk on your bare feet
To feel the happiness of tiptoeing on wet grass and concrete
As the night falls into its place, we’ll warm up the wind and let it blows
Warm humor to young couple watching romance movie at the park
Then look up the sky of the dark night, you shall see…
Tiny lights twirl in the air doing all the magic for the human kind
And yes my dear, I will seal the summer night with some kisses between your ears.
But for now, don’t ask me a thing. I want to be distant just like this.

Girls

----------------------girls---------------------
--------------are like apples----------------
----------on trees. The best ones----------
---------are at the top of the tree.---------
-------The boys dont want to reach--------
-----for the good ones because they-------
--are afraid of falling and getting hurt.----
---Instead, they get the rotten apples-----
---from the ground that arent as good, ---
---but easy. So the apples up top think---
----something wrong w/ them when in----
-----reality they're amazing. They just----
------have to wait for the right boy to-----
-------come along, the one who's----------
------------- brave enough to---------------
------------------climb all--------------------
------------------the way--------------------
-----------------to the top-------------------
----------------of the tree.------------------

Am I one of the up top apples?

Empower Yourself Women!

Today our office chit-chat was about sex workers who I saw raided by the police, people (read: men) yelled at them. I shared some stories from when I worked as interpreter for an HIV/AIDS NGO and interviewed sex workers. How young and innocent some sex workers were.

On one occasion we had a relax convo with some new girls in a "complex", we asked the girls whether they offered their costumers to use condoms before having intercourse. Mostly they said they did and the costumers mostly declined, but I read confusion on one girl's face. She was young, looked like the youngest among the girl. With low voice she told her friend that her client(s) wanted to use condom but she refused. DANG!

I can guarantee she didn't share the same reason why she didn't want to use condom with big number of men. Nothing about discomfort or dissatisfaction. She was just completely innocent with some fears towards stuff she never encountered before. She must have felt weirded out of that offer (IF she was that innocent). I could not blame her, just felt so sorry of her innocence (rarely we feel this way) and that she didn't feel like asking to anyone about this, until that day.

So we explained to her about condom, how it's supposed to protect her... something that she was supposed to enforce her clients to use.

Back to the talk at the office, I mentioned to the others that there is female condom. Apparently no one has heard of it before, they started asking me how it was and how to put it on. Every body was aware of female anatomy lol. Well I know the shape of female condom, bigger than male condom, same material, with no dead-end hehehe. But then WE wondered how it's supposed to be inserted into vagina. Would we need male's organ to push it inside? If so, then it kinda intrigue the idea of this female condom. Choice to protect ourselves (women), when we are faced to the fact that men refuse to use condom. Hmm so it's more like saying to men "suck it up!" hehe. Anyway Google helped, I found this picture of how to put this condom on. OUCHIE x__x

As far as I know, female condom is being promoted in Africa along with big number of rapes there. Self protection that is. Question from me now, so girls have to put this on daily basis? :|

It's even hard to put it on!

Regret Song (doh!)

Detaching plan becomes harder as Maroon 5 bloody sings this song -.-'

HOW

I have been searching for your touch
Unlike any touch I've ever known
And I never thought about you much
Til I'm broken down and all alone, ohhh

Though I don't understand the meaning of love
I do not mind if I die trying, ohhh
Took it for granted when you lifted me up

I'm asking for your help
I am going through hell
Afraid nothing can save me but the sound of your voice
You cut out all the noise
And now that I can see mistakes so clearly now
I'd kill if I could take you back

But how?
But how?

I can feel it in my guts
What's going on with him now
And don't patronise me with lies
I'm a man, be a woman now, ohhh

I have been bind by the shackles of love
And I don't mind if I die tied up, ohhh
Took it for granted when you lifted me up

I'm asking for your help
I am going through hell
Afraid nothing can save me but the sound of your voice
You cut out all the noise
And now that I can see mistakes so clearly now
I'd kill if I could take you back

But how?
But how?
But how?
But how?

Ohh yeah
Why must we be so ugly
And please do not think ill of me
Why does the one you love
Become the one who makes you want to cry
Why?
Why?
Why?

(And how?
How?)

But I don't understand the meaning of love
I do not mind if I die trying
I do not mind if I die trying
I do not mind if I die trying

DIE YOU DIE

Nizar's work

I asked Nizar to look for some pictures for me on facebook, to be put on this blog. Well I asked for his favor coz I can't access facebook from work as I mentioned before AND because I had no pics here with me :D And he spent some time to make this one, thanks Niz :)

Kuku

Kamis pagi, jam 8.30- 9.30 MORNING MEETING.

Hari ini AS agak santai, malahan bilang mau pulang aja (AYO!!!). Waktu kami satu per satu kasih report tiba-tiba beliau berdiri, ternyata ngambil jepit kuku (read: nail clipper). Sambil dengerin dan kasih input, AS asik motongin kukunya... telaten banget. Lama baru beliau sadar kalau kami semua ngeliatin beliau yang lagi potong kuku lol. Trus bilang "ngapain sih kalian semua ngeliatin gue lagi potong kuku?". Yeeeee

Spontan si RR bilang "Ya kan bapak lagi ngomong, ya diliatin", ck ck ck. Trus pake ngikir kuku lagi, katanya supaya gak tajam tuh kuku yang abis dipotong. Lucunya pak SR (tokoh baru) nyaranin untuk kasih air aja tuh kuku biar halus, gak tajam. Sontak AS yang kritis bilang "Ah ngaco lu, mana bisa? Dimana logikanya?" hahaha setuju.

Masa air bisa bikin kuku gak tajam, kalo gitu buat apa ada kikir lol. Menelurkan ide aneh adalah bunuh diri (mending diem?!), bakalan dicerca abis-abisan siap-siap aja dengan argument yang edan sekalian :D

Air gak bakalan bikin serpihan (tajam) kuku yang tertinggal jadi halus, cuma bisa bikin serpihan kecil-kecil (seperti kalo kita habis ngikir kuku) jadi hilang. Menurutku begitu, ya gak sih?

Demam FB dan Twitter

Bukan aku yang baru (sekarang) demam , tapi si new boss sebut saja AS :P Aku dah punya akun FB dari sekitar tahun 2006, waktu diinvite ma Sarah (thank you yaa...). Dulu seorang diri punya FB, jadi harus meyakinkan temen2 kalo FB lebih bagus daripada Friendster, padahal diri sendiri gak yakin hehe.

Anyway, jadi entah bagaimana awalnya Pak AS minta dibuatkan akun Twitter. Personal opinion nih, aku gak begitu suka ngetweet. Lengah sedikit gak tau dah apa yang orang omongin tentang kita (bener gak sih? gaptek nih lol) gak kayak FB yang dapat notif and you can always scroll down your profile wall :D

AS : Bagus gak tuh Twitter? Apa bedanya ma FB?

Aku: (bla bla bla ngejelasin, ke kalian gak usah yaa kan dah ngerti) Twitter tuh mesti dicek dan update terus pak, time consuming. Mendingan FB.

AS : Saya mau Twitter aja, gak mau senyam-senyum depan FB kayak istri saya ah. *gedubrak*

Aku: Tapi bapak mo Twitteran ma sapa? Gak gampang loh nemuin temen2 (seumuran) bapak di Twitter. *plus masa iya si bapak mo promo ke temen2 beliau baru bikin Twitter*

(ngejelasin lagi, betapa Twitter itu gak cucok ke beliau. Ya ampun sekretaris yang baik yaa aku, menyelamatkan bosku dari jeratan godaan Twitter *walau sendirinya punya akun :P*).

AS : Ya udah dah gak usah aja (ngambek bukan ini ya?!), ntar saya ribet lagi.

Aku: FB aja ya pak? *kekeh krn pengen liat update status beliau*

Nyala api keingintahuan beliau PADAM!

>> Di lain kesempatan<<

AS : Si R itu masih single atau udah nikah ya?

Aku: Sepengetahuan saya sih ada pacarnya pak, saya liat di FBnya.

AS : Emang bisa tau gitu?

Aku: Loh kan ada statusnya "in relationship with....."

AS : MASA?! Kok norak gitu, cuma pacaran diumumin di FB?

Aku: *sedikit ngeblush*

RR : (temen kantor nih) Iya pak memang gt, supaya gak flirting di FB.

AS : Hah kamu juga pasang?!

Hihihihi shock macam apakah ini? Social shock atau technology shock? :P

Ied Mubarak and a little disaster

Thank god, we meet another ied and another year flied by.... Its time to reflect on the mistakes, repent and ask for forgiveness. I wish it could be more solemn than this.. the peaceful moments are kindda gone.

There's a little disaster in this year's celebration, in my celebration actually. I burnt my hand from frying food, the hot oil was kindda burst out from the pan. Geez! I was freaked out to death, but for a moment i thought i was alright didnt really feel the pain at that second. Actually some of that hot oil landed on my right hand, it was terribly burnt and i was panic! at the kitchen [lol]. What made me upset was at the moment they heard the "explosion" and my and Lisa's scream, my step mom instantly worried about the stove and all but me. HuH!!! I guess i felt betrayed because it was her that made me did the frying at the first place and then she didnt seem to care. I was cross and ready to be a beast out of my pain...

I never feel happy of being so vulnarable but even then i cried out loud, didnt care anymore coz all i wanted to do was to wash away the pain, wishing that the tears could do that. But they couldnt, to distract my attention i went online and saw some people online. I chatted with Mic for awhile, at least i could whine hehe...


previously i called sony telling him about the incident and he said he knew something was off about me. Again, i was off guard and cried, ehm maybe i can say it was sobbing. Yeah it was that painful, undescribeable.

When my hand was better, me and some old friends went out. Gathering with old friends from elementary school was really fun, we laughed all night over things we've done. My oh my it felt like ages ago that we have met the last time..... minal aidzin walfaidzin....

constant monogamist's date

I know the title sounds so serious, i found it first then tried to create these line and i dont think i did some justice to the title. Any way this is the only poem that made me so in love, in a delirious way....

there's a day between todays and tomorrows
when our lives arrangedly clenched
with those lines that explain how world treats us
where admiration and promises are layed unconsciously
that soon we'll be more than just this distance
between here and there, so often i wonder
if there's even a slight doubt
that tomorrow's sun will shine on us
in unity....

not just the sun that shines on me shines on the moon that shines on you.

august 24th. 2007

nasty orientation day

Sunday, 10th sept 2007

i intended to come to my campus to meet my lecturer, to discuss about my thesis. It sacrificed the meeting with the school i would teach soon after the Ied Fitri. And quite confusing the way my 2nd lecturer asked questions and the stares [LOL], he really attacked me and i wasnt really prepared for that, what a bad student i am. Then i saw these people doing exercise in pretty dumb moves. It was for the orientation day of the new students, i used to be part of them , then part of the committee. Hard to say which one was better, being the new student or the committee. Both got pressure from the senior, both tiring. I prefer to be the senior, like this year.... i spent time to just watch people screamed and shouted at nothing [at people but for no reason, most of the time]. Hilarious how my seniors [even the drop-outs came for this] did the exact same things just like when i was the new student and committee. An act of fight between the senior and the committee. Then nasty how they made people did physical things [read: push ups,] literally kissed the floor.

i made some videos of this day, i think i'm gonna send them to friends.... Hehe indonesians' students orientation day........................................

chronicle of life and death

what a terrifying title indeed, but nothing to be alert. this morning Sony sent me sms askin about my feeling towards someone, whether i think he loves me or not. well its a tough [and rough?] question i suppose, cant really answer it although there's a slight [tiny mini] belief that he does or did or will HAHA, but its not at all love, just like how i feel. Love is a funny thing that Sony himself is thinking about putting it down for awhile so he can do some business on other part of life. good idea. And me? i'd love to dance in other people's shoes for awhile, forget the love life and meet hell lots of people, i know i will soon. Sipirili!!!

new people to meet

it's so nice when you every now and then cross someone else's life in such arranged or unarranged way. recently i met some people who amazingly reminded me to people i hold dear in my heart. how was my feeling? ehm quite delirious with missing the dear person and trying to catch the essence of this new person, not to then compare them completely. but mostly they only talked in the same way.

somehow i dont sense the friendship with these people i met recently, why? mostly maybe because we were there, at the same place at the same time for the reason of business. its hard then to place yourself, in what position........ its lame

feeling great in depth of silliness

When you give up on something and try to lay it low, it will eventually come to you in such a wonderful way, it happens to me. Life is great recently.... i feel hilarious-delirious in a great way. I love and miss everyone. Firman BP is here with me right now, we have nice times of culinary experiences together. We'll soon be 2fat people LOL.

fresh crispy morning....and all

welcome to the fresh crispy morning..... when life's a little bit hasty thats what i can be grateful of. early morning with sunshine on your face, nothing more gentle than the sun light that wakes you up. thats why i always open my curtain... but today the sun is so lazy and so am i for i woke up at 9 and stayed in bed until 10ish reread the cosmo mag. to then ready for the world? never ready enough.

there is one word that lingers lately, menanti a.k.a wait, i just realize how that word can juggle someone's life. makes it stuck in uncertainty or maybe the other way around, it can be an answer for everything you want. just in one word, menanti. the question then, for me, "apa yang kunanti, apa yang kutunggu?" maybe the day of tomorrow?! when the morning is started with that glowing light which enlighten the heart. one thing for sure, eh?

Shame for u

the electricity went out again yesterday and i decided to just listen to my CDs and went to Lily Allen's. then my attention stucked on this one song Shame For U. Huekekek it reminded me sooooo much about someone, unfortunately for the time being i cant make him listen to it. Ah then i bought a new CD of Daniel Sahuleka, he sings Dont Sleep Away The Night in a different way from Glenn Fredly. And i love You Make My World So Colorful, he's so romantic eh? and his voice........... its just his diction in the indonesian songs is so weird hehe, maybe because he lives abroad too long?

seize the day or die regretting

if you never heard any of Avenged Sevenfold song, you should listen to this one. Promise its such a great song, sad but also strong at the same time. Just loooove it.

"Seize The Day"

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry
These streets we travel on will undergo our same lost past

I found you here, now please just stay for a while
I can move on with you around
I hand you my mortal life, but will it be forever?
I'd do anything for a smile, holding you 'til our time is done
We both know the day will come, but I don't want to leave you

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Newborn life replacing all of us, changing this fable we live in
No longer needed here so where do we go?
Will you take a journey tonight, follow me past the walls of death?
But girl, what if there is no eternal life?

I see my vision burn, I feel my memories fade with time
But I'm too young to worry (a melody, a memory, or just one picture)

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

So, what if I never hold you, yeah, or kiss your lips again?
Woooaaah, so I never want to leave you and the memories of us to see
I beg don't leave me

Seize the day or die regretting the time you lost
It's empty and cold without you here, too many people to ache over

Trials in life, questions of us existing here, don't wanna die alone without you here
Please tell me what we have is real

Silence you lost me, no chance for one more day [x2 then continues in the background]
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home
I stand here alone
Falling away from you, no chance to get back home

In your shoes

Beautiful how I hear this story
Once again thru different view
Like world doesn’t only revolve around me
Feels like I’m so near by you
I’m in your shoes now
Oh can we just simply go?
Or laying, like you wish, so low
Am willing to take this vow
To be patient with the time
To laugh with every pain
With you, I promise, I’ll be fine
I’ll dance with you under this endless rain

trip to little island

every trip always brings something you can remember, unique thing of a time somewhere far from you usually are. Interesting! I remember seeing a man on a bus, and then quoting from Cinta Brontosaurus when Dika said that when we see people they all look ordinary, man without any label of problem and misery. Perfect image you want everybody to see, hidden from all the pain.

Anyway, the trip this time was great coz it was without any fight hehe. And this time we played all the games they offered, the cart, trampolin, the tower and all. But i felt so peace when i was in the planetarium with the lights off and stars on the ceiling, with the music on I was somewhere else for few moments until some babies cried. HUH!

Look for a piece of peace, in your everyday is not a piece of cake